Marriage Counseling will most likely suggest that a couple add romance to their relationship. Even if your relationship does not yearn for counseling and just wants some enhancement, Romance may be just the way to go.

Romance will add depth to the couples relationship. Romance may awaken the feelings of love and sensuality. Romance is a way of helping a couple find emotional intimacy. It can open the door to better communication, feeling connected, adding FUN to your marriage, and increasing the physical intimacy and sex. Romance can make a Relationship or Marriage HOT….GOT HOT? If you are in couples counseling or looking for relationship healing and enhancement, try adding some Romance to see what happens. Marriage Counseling 4U has just what you need.

“Romance” can be a look, or a touch. “Romance” can be an elaborate occasion. If you and your partner add romance to your relationship, you may find there is an increase in emotional and physical intimacy. Romance can say “I really care about you.” Romance can mean the partner has given some thought to YOU- Some thought to what YOU may need or what YOU may like on a certain day. Romance can mean your partner or yourself has had a moment of inspiration and acted on it to add some spice and demonstration of love to your relationship.

Here are some suggestions to get your creativity moving;
**You are driving. Pull over in a safe area. Unbuckle your seat belt. Lean over and gently take your love into your arms and plant a juicy deep gentle LOOOONNNGG kiss on her lips. Take your time taking their breath away. Buckle up and with a smug look on your face-drive on.

**Leave a message on their cell phone. Call when you know they will not answer. Tell them you love them. Tell them they are beautiful. Tell them they are sexy and you want them. Tell them something wonderful you know they want to hear. Be truthful, be creative, don't hold back.

**If you live in an area this is possible try it out. Kids in bed/no kids. Night has settled in. Get together a blanket, glasses, wine or something nice to drink, tissues or other needed "play" things. Take them outside under the stars and make a "nest". Come back into the house and blindfold your love....lead her out into the nest and let whatever comes naturally happen. Take your time. Enjoy the atmosphere. Enjoy each other.

**Come home with flowers, dessert, dinner, bubble bath, or something you know will please your love.

**Give your love a certificate for a massage-YOU are the massage therapist. Include a candle and "flavored" massage oil.

**Give a gift certificate for 1/2 hour of "anything goes".

**Partner has a job around the house they HATE and keep putting off. Find a way to do it or have it done for them.

  On Marriage Counseling 4U.com, an online marriage counseling site, the Romance Blog page has ideas for you to browse through. You can share your own ideas, questions, or stories if you wish. What fun! and just in time for Valentines Day. Get some HOT for your Relationship. Take some time to bring back the Joy into your marriage or relationship. The Romance Blog on www.marriagecounseling4u.com can assist you in making your relationship spicy and fun.

Marriage Counseling is an important aspect if your relationship is not on track. Add Romance to Couples Counseling and see if the progress you are making goes to fast track. GET some “HOT” for your honey this Valentine’s Day. It doesn’t have to be a big deal, sometimes the little Romance events are the ones we remember. Like the love note under your pillow, or an email that says I LOVE YOU, or coming home to find dinner has been delivered, or…well get some ideas from the Romance Blog and then create some of your own. Let Online Marriage Counseling at Marriage Counseling 4U.com help. Our Romance Just the Way YOU Like IT Blog will have more suggestions. Add some of your own. HAVE FUN….GET SOME HOT!!

Communication in a marriage is the key to relationship success. If we can communicate our needs and feelings and wishes effectively we are on the road to a happy healthy marriage. Our “relationship” can be as a married couple, committed couple, couple of friends, employer or employee, parent or child. Good communication will make your life MUCH easier.

Changing a behavior is not easy. We have communicated in a certain way since birth. Changing that method of behavior may take concentration and time. The change could mean we become more effective in letting others know our needs and feelings. Sometimes we learn behaviors in childhood, especially if we have had a difficult childhood, that help us to survive the childhood. We can acknowledge for ourselves the behaviors worked for us in childhood but are now getting in the way of relationship success.

Adopting a new way of communication can be tedious. If you went to the dentist and the dentist told you that the way you have brushed your teeth for years and years was all wrong. You are told “don’t brush up and down…..brush down down down on the top and up up up on the bottom.” Changing that method will mean you need to slow down and concentrate. At first the new behavior seems strange and difficult. After you practice for a while the new method becomes more and more familiar and soon it is as automatic as the old way. If we learn to communicate in an effective way any issue can be resolved. This does not mean the resolution will be positive. It may mean when we resolve our issue it is revealed we are not happy with the relationship and need to move on.

If the communication is effective the chance of working through issues and making the relationship work is much higher. Sometimes couples come to see me for couples counseling and they have been having routine disagreements and arguments. Once they slow down and listen they begin to realize they are on the same page. They learn the concept of “different” not right and wrong. Couples communication is important for them to understand each other and create a happy marriage or relationship. Increasing your communication skills the foundation for successful marriage counseling.

If one of you has to be “right” and one “wrong” you are setting yourself up for failure. Think about agreeing to disagree. Think about allowing the other person a difference. Think about slowing down and really listening to your partner’s words and feelings. The formula for communication in this chapter will help you with that new behavior. Communication is the key to letting others know how we feel and what are our needs.

We listen and talk through our “life filters”. Life filters are ways we learn to speak, listen, express anger, and other communication methods.

Here is a little story to help you understand “life filters”. John grew up in Sweden. When he graduated from college he moved to NY to work. He was there about six months before he became really really home sick.

One morning he was riding the subway to work when a blond woman got on the same car. He was struck with the beauty of her blondness and it increased his being home sick….Oh he did miss Sweden and all the Swedish blondness.

As they stepped off the car they were next to each other and John turned to Kate and said, “you have beautiful hair.” Now Kate grew up in the Broncs and when someone mentioned her hair it was to indicate they thought she was an “air head blond person.”

Kate could have given John a wicked eye and stomped off to work telling her co-workers about the “jerk” on the subway. John would then have really wanted to go home and talked to his co-workers about the rude woman he had complemented on the way to work.

BUT….this is MY story….so here is how it goes.

Kate turns to John and says (this is reflective listening-a clue for you later) “What you think I am an airhead?” John was a little shocked and said “NO, I think your hair is beautiful and it makes me lonely for my home, Sweden.”

Well Kate and John had lunch…and got married and lived happily ever after…..YEA!!

There is so much between lunch and happily ever after. It would be like a story that goes like this. Once upon a time there was a man with a pile of sticks. He built a house. It was a good house.

LOTZ of work between the pile of sticks and the house….just like there is a lot of work and paying attention between the lunch and happily ever after. Marriage and any Relationship takes time and energy and feeding and nurturing. They are a living breathing entity. You can have wonderful, just okay, cold nothingness, or abusive. You choose.

(We talk and listen through our life filters. What one person says and intends to be heard may be totally different than the receiver hears. SO the reflective listening confirms if the message was heard in the way the speaker intended. Try the communication guide in Chapter One to help you get started with effective communication.

Good luck with your practice. If you need a word of encouragement or have a question about this article, there is FREE CHAT at my Website. Ask Yvonne any marriage counseling relationship question. www.marriagecounseling4u.com Thanks for reading and have fun with this marriage counseling tool. Put it in your toolbox and take it out often. If left in the toolbox NOTHING changes. Yvonne Sinclair M.A.

“Marriage,” usually means that you trust someone you love to care about you, be true to you, to have integrity within your relationship, and to put the couple relationship above all other relationships. When that trust is broken you may feel betrayed, rejected, uncared about, and unloved. Broken trust is extremely hard to heal. Sometimes we cannot afford NOT to get some professional help. Counseling is getting tools for living…nothing else. Counseling will also help you look at the big picture and find some answers that may not ever occur to you. Remember you are not alone in this, you have a partner and you can have a professional on your (the relationships) side.

Having relationship with another person that takes your attention, time, energy, finances, or caring away from your primary partner is then an affair. To heal broken trust it takes time. It takes both partners actively working on whatever is needed. It take the partner who broke the trust looking at the why and taking steps to make sure there is not another incident. The partner who was “cheated” on may have for a while, what may seem, extremely tight boundaries for the other partner.

There are many aspects to personal recovering from a breach of trust. Our own personal history is a basis for how well we will recover. If we were abused, betrayed, abandoned, neglected, or had our trust betrayed in our growing up years and have not dealt with or done healing around this issue, it will be more difficult to recover from betrayal in an adult relationship. Our own health, mental and emotional, will determine our ability to move on. Our personality will color our recovery. No one can give you a magic potion or quick answer to recovery. You personally will have to take it step by step honoring your own needs and strengths and weaknesses. If your partner wants to heal the relationship, you can work together and communicate effectively to help you work through to the other side.

Relationship recovery from infidelity can be successful. Success will be improved by professional help and suggestions. Counseling is important to, not only have a third objective person, but to get tools for communication, resolution of issues, exploring family patterns, exploring personal needs, and ways to establish personal rights and boundaries. Committed relationships are damaged when infidelity occurs. Sometimes this damage is irreparable. Most of the time, if both partners want recovery, the relationship can actually be stronger and more fulfilling after an affair has happened.

An affair can be like a small heart attack. When a person has a small heart attack, they go for professional help. They usually then begin to pay attention, take care of themselves, and use the tools give by the professional. They then become stronger and healthier avoiding a massage and fatal heart attack. An affair can be looked on in the same way. If both partners want the relationship to continue they can actually make it stronger and better. It takes communication, commitment, time, effort, energy, and attention.

Hot Monogamy can happen. I give my clients a “four hour Homework” assignment when they are ready to really cement their relationship and increase emotional and physical intimacy.

Communicate, Care, Be intimate, Spend time creating your

relationship, it doesn’t grow all alone, Enjoy, Pleasure, Be Joyful .

Remember sometimes Infidelity can be like a small heart attack. You can heal and make your relationship stronger better and full of joy.

Healing at www.marriagecounseling4u.com/infidelity